Namaste! I’m Tory Whitney, affectionately known as Ms. Tory—founder of Whispering Lullabies, creator of the Sacred Sleep Method™, and author of Sacred Sleep: A Gentle Nervous System Guide for Babies and Parents, available on Amazon.
I am a birth and postpartum doula, newborn care specialist, infant sleep consultant, mindfulness and Hypnobabies educator, and intuitive guide. I bring more than seven years of perinatal experience and over 30 years of hands-on childcare experience to every family I serve.
As a five-star provider, I believe that level of care should be reflected in how I show up every day—with compassion, attentiveness, and dependable support. Parents deserve peace of mind and to feel just as cared for as their babies.
Sacred Sleep is more than my approach to infant sleep—it is the philosophy that guides all of my care. I believe babies and parents thrive when they feel safe, understood, and supported. Whether I am assisting during birth, caring for a newborn overnight, supporting postpartum recovery, or helping a family establish natural sleep rhythms, I begin with connection, nervous-system regulation, responsive care, and respect for each family’s needs.
I teach parents to prioritize their baby’s cues over rigid schedules while considering feeding needs, growth, development, and guidance from their healthcare team. By observing each baby’s temperament, feeding patterns, sensory needs, and family rhythm, I help parents understand the “why” behind their baby’s behavior so they can make informed decisions with confidence.
My approach brings together evidence-based newborn care, an understanding of infant physiology, mindfulness, intuitive attunement, and decades of practical caregiving experience. I offer calm, nonjudgmental support without cry-it-out or extinction methods, tailoring care to the family in front of me.
Through in-home, overnight, travel, and virtual support, my goal is to help families feel seen, informed, rested, and confident as they find their rhythm—one breath, one night, and one season at a time.
At Whispering Lullabies, caring for your baby also means caring for you.
Not sure what is affecting your child’s sleep—or which type of support your family needs? The Sleep Direction Session gives you an opportunity to discuss your most pressing sleep concern directly with Ms. Tory.
During this focused virtual session, Ms. Tory will listen to what your family is experiencing, identify important patterns, and offer professional direction based on the regulation-first Sacred Sleep Method.
Your session includes:
• One 30-minute private virtual consultation
• Discussion of one primary sleep concern
• Initial review of your child’s current sleep pattern
• Practical recommendations you can begin using
• Guidance on the appropriate next step for your family
• A recommendation for additional Sacred Sleep support, when needed
This session may be helpful for families experiencing:
• Frequent night waking
• Short or inconsistent naps
• Contact sleep
• Difficult crib transfers
• Feeding-to-sleep associations
• Bedtime resistance
• Early-morning waking
• Questions about age-appropriate sleep rhythms
Ms. Tory is an experienced Infant Sleep Consultant, Newborn Care Specialist, author, and creator of the Sacred Sleep Method. Her approach supports regulation, rhythm, responsiveness, and connection—without cry-it-out or extinction methods.
After purchasing, you will receive scheduling instructions and a brief questionnaire within one business day.
This is a focused direction session and does not include a comprehensive written sleep plan, ongoing messaging, sleep-log analysis, or follow-up coaching. Families needing a complete assessment or implementation support may be referred to another Sacred Sleep service.
Sacred Sleep provides educational sleep consulting and family support. It does not diagnose or treat medical conditions, replace care from your child’s pediatrician, or guarantee a particular sleep outcome.
$35USD · Flat rate
Gentle Birth One Day Intense Childbirth Education Session
One Day immersive preparing parents for a calm, regulated, and connected birth experience with a focus on utilizing sports psychology summered in mindfulness.
$150USD · Flat rate
Essential Newborn Care for Parents Instructional
A gentle parent coaching class teachg the essential of newborn care, cue, soothing feeding sleep basics and confident care giving
$150USD · Flat rate
Baby and Me Meditation
A gentle guided meditation class supporting parent and baby relaxation bonding nervous system regulation and emotional connection
$150USD · Flat rate
Overnight Newborn Care Premium Service
In home overnight newborn care with regulation first support. 8 hours minimum per night. Feeding soothing and parent support. Will support and guide newborn towards sleep goals discussed. Each additional hour is 40.00.
Financial need based scaled payments can be discussed.
$320USD · Flat rate
6 Week Regulation Support Sleep Guidance
Create calmer, more sustainable sleep rhythms with six weeks of personalized coaching and ongoing support from Ms. Tory.
The Six-Week Sacred Sleep Support program is designed for families who need more than a single consultation. Instead of receiving general advice and implementing it alone, you will have consistent professional guidance as you learn to understand your child’s sleep patterns, introduce responsive changes, and adjust your approach based on your child’s progress.
Using the regulation-first Sacred Sleep Method, Ms. Tory considers your child’s nervous system, temperament, feeding patterns, development, sensory needs, sleep environment, and family rhythm—without relying on cry-it-out or extinction methods.
Your six-week program includes:
• Comprehensive sleep intake questionnaire
• Review of your child’s current sleep history and patterns
• Initial private virtual consultation
• Personalized Sacred Sleep strategy
• Six weekly 30-minute virtual coaching sessions
• Weekly review of progress, concerns, and emerging patterns
• Responsive adjustments to your family’s strategy
• Text support during designated support hours
• Final maintenance and transition recommendations
This program may support families experiencing:
• Frequent night waking
• Short or inconsistent naps
• Contact sleep
• Difficult crib transfers
• Feeding-to-sleep associations
• Bedtime resistance
• Early-morning waking
• Difficulty connecting sleep cycles
• Challenges maintaining consistent rhythms
• Sleep disruptions during developmental transitions
Ms. Tory is an experienced Infant Sleep Consultant, Newborn Care Specialist, author, and creator of the Sacred Sleep Method. Drawing on more than 30 years of childcare experience, she helps families understand and improve their child’s sleep through personalized, regulation-first support.
After purchasing, you will receive your intake questionnaire, service agreement, and scheduling instructions within one business day. Your six-week support period begins on the agreed-upon start date.
This program must begin within 90 days of purchase. Missed sessions, rescheduling, communication hours, and response-time expectations are governed by your signed service agreement.
Sacred Sleep provides educational sleep consulting and family support. It does not diagnose or treat medical conditions, replace care from your child’s pediatrician or another licensed healthcare provider, or guarantee a particular sleep outcome.
Flexible installment options may be available to eligible families during checkout. Approval, down payment, interest, and repayment terms are determined by the payment provider.
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$333USD · Flat rate
Sacred Sleep Intensive
This option is for families who need focused, decisive support without committing to long-term care. Includes:
Accelerated hands-on guidance.
In depth case review and pattern analysis
Personalized action plan
Nervous System education
Assertive follow-up support for up to two weeks
Receive focused, higher-touch sleep support designed for families experiencing complex, persistent, or overwhelming sleep challenges.
The Sacred Sleep Intensive provides a deeper review of your child’s sleep and two weeks of personalized implementation support. This service is ideal for families who need more than general direction and want close professional guidance while making responsive changes.
Using the Sacred Sleep Method, Ms. Tory looks beyond schedules and wake windows to consider your child’s nervous system, temperament, feeding patterns, development, sensory needs, sleep environment, family rhythm, and current sleep associations.
Your Sacred Sleep Intensive includes:
• Comprehensive sleep and family intake questionnaire
• Detailed review of your child’s sleep history
• Review of current routines, feeding patterns, sleep environment, and family goals
• 90-minute private virtual consultation
• Personalized written Sacred Sleep plan
• Sleep-log review during the support period
• Two weeks of focused implementation support
• Scheduled progress check-ins
• Text support during designated support hours
• Responsive adjustments based on your child’s progress
• Final maintenance and transition recommendations
This intensive may support families experiencing:
• Frequent or prolonged night waking
• Persistent contact sleep
• Difficult crib or bed transfers
• Short naps and difficulty connecting sleep cycles
• Strong feeding-to-sleep associations
• Bedtime resistance
• Early-morning waking
• Developmental sleep disruptions
• Multiple sleep concerns occurring together
• Previous sleep strategies that did not fit the child or family
Ms. Tory is an experienced Infant Sleep Consultant, Newborn Care Specialist, author, and creator of the Sacred Sleep Method. Drawing on more than 30 years of childcare experience, she helps families understand and improve their child’s sleep through personalized, regulation-first support—without cry-it-out or extinction methods.
After purchasing, you will receive your intake questionnaire, service agreement, and scheduling instructions within one business day. Your two-week implementation period begins on the mutually agreed-upon start date.
This service must begin within 90 days of purchase. Communication hours, response times, rescheduling, and the boundaries of support are governed by your signed service agreement.
Sacred Sleep provides educational sleep consulting and family support. It does not diagnose or treat medical conditions, replace care from your child’s pediatrician or another licensed healthcare provider, or guarantee a particular sleep outcome.
Flexible installment options may be available to eligible families during checkout. Approval, down payment, interest, and repayment terms are determined by the payment provider.
$650USD · Flat rate
In Home Sacred Approach
Receive focused, higher-touch sleep support designed for families experiencing complex, persistent, or overwhelming sleep challenges.
The Sacred Sleep Intensive provides a deeper review of your child’s sleep and two weeks of personalized implementation support. This service is ideal for families who need more than general direction and want close professional guidance while making responsive changes.
Using the Sacred Sleep Method, Ms. Tory looks beyond schedules and wake windows to consider your child’s nervous system, temperament, feeding patterns, development, sensory needs, sleep environment, family rhythm, and current sleep associations.
Your Sacred Sleep Intensive includes:
• Comprehensive sleep and family intake questionnaire
• Detailed review of your child’s sleep history
• Review of current routines, feeding patterns, sleep environment, and family goals
• 90-minute private virtual consultation
• Personalized written Sacred Sleep plan
• Sleep-log review during the support period
• Two weeks of focused implementation support
• Scheduled progress check-ins
• Text support during designated support hours
• Responsive adjustments based on your child’s progress
• Final maintenance and transition recommendations
This intensive may support families experiencing:
• Frequent or prolonged night waking
• Persistent contact sleep
• Difficult crib or bed transfers
• Short naps and difficulty connecting sleep cycles
• Strong feeding-to-sleep associations
• Bedtime resistance
• Early-morning waking
• Developmental sleep disruptions
• Multiple sleep concerns occurring together
• Previous sleep strategies that did not fit the child or family
Ms. Tory is an experienced Infant Sleep Consultant, Newborn Care Specialist, author, and creator of the Sacred Sleep Method. Drawing on more than 30 years of childcare experience, she helps families understand and improve their child’s sleep through personalized, regulation-first support—without cry-it-out or extinction methods.
After purchasing, you will receive your intake questionnaire, service agreement, and scheduling instructions within one business day. Your two-week implementation period begins on the mutually agreed-upon start date.
This service must begin within 90 days of purchase. Communication hours, response times, rescheduling, and the boundaries of support are governed by your signed service agreement.
Sacred Sleep provides educational sleep consulting and family support. It does not diagnose or treat medical conditions, replace care from your child’s pediatrician or another licensed healthcare provider, or guarantee a particular sleep outcome.
Flexible installment options may be available to eligible families during checkout. Approval, down payment, interest, and repayment terms are determined by the payment provider.
$1,600USD · Flat rate
The Night Owl Newborn Care Package
The Welcoming Stork Committee
Best Value: Birth, Postpartum & Overnight Newborn Support
From preparing for birth to bringing your baby home, The Welcoming Stork Committee provides compassionate, continuous support during one of your family’s most meaningful transitions.
This premium package combines childbirth education, labor support, transition-to-home guidance, and 10 nights of overnight newborn care. Parents receive more than rest—they gain hands-on education, reassurance, and the confidence to understand and care for their new baby.
Your Welcoming Stork Committee package includes:
• GentleBirth childbirth education
• Day-of-labor birth doula support
• Guidance during the transition from birth to home
• 10 nights of premium overnight newborn care
• Feeding, burping, diapering, soothing, and settling support
• Gentle, developmentally appropriate sleep foundations
• Nervous-system-informed newborn care
• Hands-on parent education and practical guidance
• Emotional support for the birthing parent
• Newborn cues, calming, and regulation education
• Sleep-environment assessment and optimization
• Support establishing realistic family rhythms and nighttime routines
During the overnight portion of care, Ms. Tory supports families through the most challenging nighttime hours while tending to the baby’s needs and helping parents recover. Overnight care may include responsive feeding, burping, diaper changes, soothing, bottle and pump-part cleaning, baby-related tidying, detailed care logs, and age-appropriate sleep guidance.
The Sacred Sleep philosophy is woven throughout every stage of this package. Care is rooted in the belief that babies and parents thrive when they feel safe, understood, connected, and supported. Families receive responsive, regulation-first guidance without rigid schedules, cry-it-out, or extinction methods.
The Welcoming Stork Committee is ideal for families who want one trusted professional to help them prepare for birth, feel supported during labor, transition home with greater confidence, and receive restorative overnight care once their baby arrives.
Because welcoming a baby was never meant to be a one-person job. Consider Ms. Tory your very own Welcoming Stork Committee—here to educate, nurture, reassure, and help your family find its rhythm from birth through those first precious nights at home.
$3,800USD · Flat rate
Accepted insurance
Blue Cross Blue Shield (BCBS)
Cigna
Medicaid
Tricare
Optima Health
Optimum HealthCare
Optum Health
Message Tory to confirm coverage for your plan.
What to expect
I support families from bump to baby with personalized, regulation-first care from pregnancy through six months postpartum. From birth preparation and mindset coaching to newborn care, sleep setup, and discreet overnight support, my role is to help you feel calm, capable, and well-rested during this tender season.
Whether in-person or virtual, Whispering Lullabies offers a thoughtfully designed care ecosystem that fills the gaps traditional support often misses—providing clarity, continuity, and empowered confidence so your family can truly thrive.
Reviews for Tory W
5.020 reviews
5.0
We had the absolute best experience with Tory, and I cannot recommend her highly enough. From the moment she walked into our home, she brought an immediate sense of calm and confidence that we desperately needed. After just one visit, our entire household felt more settled.
She didn’t just care for our newborn—she taught me how to care for him with new techniques, hands-on guidance, and so much patience. She showed me how to soothe him, how to read his cues, and how to manage those fussy moments that had felt overwhelming before. Her approach was gentle, practical, and incredibly reassuring.
On top of that, both the baby and I were coming down with a cold, and she handled the situation with so much compassion. She showed me how to help a congested newborn, helped me feel more confident in what to watch for, and even let me get much-needed rest. I truly felt cared for as a new mom, not just supported in caring for my baby.
If you are looking for someone who brings expertise, calm energy, and genuine care into your home, Tory is absolutely exceptional. One visit made such a meaningful difference for us, and I am so grateful for her. I am excited to work with her again and ensure that I’ve really taken her lessons to heart.
— Huong T.
5.0
Latory & I connected through social media following a fatal birth injury that occurred with my baby boy and after i was ghosted by my birth doula. She supported me free of charge from a entirely different state. I’m in NC. Though my NICU journey was rough and sometimes there were no words to say, she always made herself available to me and offered me words of encouragement. She even surprised me and mailed me the most beautiful flowers ever around the time of my loss. What a kind hearted beautiful spirit. I thank God for sending me this beautiful stranger along the way. I highly recommend her and wish your business many many blessings.
— Brianna Adams
5.0
Tory helped my daughter who lives many miles from me. While I was able to be with her right after the birth, I cannot now easily return to help out in person. Her service was exactly what I was looking for as my daughter navigates the challenging newborn stage. She not only offered hands-on support with her newborn, she also gave my daughter the confidence, tools, and emotional support she needed.
I genuinely believe she made a lasting impact.
She was there when I couldn't be, and for that, I will always be grateful.
- One happy mama and grandma- Jacki Case
— Jacki Case
5.0
My boyfriend and I are expecting our first son together and meeting with Tory was absolutely amazing . She gave us a lot of good tips for labor and also helped my partner out a lot with a hands on learning experience including bathing, feeding , diaper changing , changing clothes , and swaddling etc. This experience made up both more comfortable and prepared for our baby boy coming soon . She also provided us with a lot of good resources for labor support and postpartum support . We are truly grateful for our experience with Tory!
— Taylor Mullins
5.0
I absolutely love Ms. Toya ! I been thru a traumatic situation with my 23 week old baby and Ms. Toya is a god sent. She gave me so much advice and definitely fought for me ! She made this experience so worth it. Even tho my angel is in heaven she still
Checks on me she is definitely my go to doula. She’s the mother bear for her tribe
— Kira King
5.0
Love this company!
— Jaila Turner
5.0
I hired LaTory to care for my baby overnight for three months. She exceeded our expectations in all areas. She listened to our wishes and also brought a huge wealth of knowledge. She’s very professional and always asked if I needed help with more. By the end of the three months our baby was basically sleeping through the night (he was around 4.5 months for reference). I would highly recommend LaTory to care for your newborns baby or assist with pre or postnatal concerns.
— Laura Santomauro
5.0
I had been trying to find someone to watch our newborn overnight for weeks and was truly struggling. I eventually got in contact with Tory and she was super friendly yet professional and very easy to talk to.
She was home on a short break from another job, yet was willing to come to our house and help us that same weekend in order to give us the break we were needing. She came over and immediately made us feel confident that our baby was in great hands and the two of them had a great few nights together. We finally got to sleep all night and not feel so overwhelmed. It was the best weekend and we truly appreciate her taking the time out of her off days to help us.
— Kassie Hogeland
5.0
I took Latory's Gentle Birth class and I learned so much! I have been in birth work for almost 20 years and this class made such an impact on the way I will educate my doula clients. I recommend this class not only to expecting families but also birth workers. You will learn a lot! It connected so many dots for me and gave me insight on why some of the techniques I use actually works from a scientific and clinical insight.
— Nataki Hill
5.0
I participated in the gentle birth virtual meeting. It was so nice, educational, informative and I walked away knowing more than I expected. LaTory was very knowledgeable kind. I liked how she incorporated videos that was relatable.
— karena g.
5.0
I cannot express enough gratitude for Latory and the invaluable support she provided with her expertise and knowledge during the birth of my twins. From the moment I knew I would be delivering twins, I felt immense pressure and uncertainty, especially as doctors strongly encouraged a C-section. However, with the support received, I was able to advocate for myself and ultimately have the vaginal birth I deeply hoped for.
Her knowledge, encouragement, and calming presence made all the difference. She guided me through my options, supplied me with a plethora of resources, reassured me when I needed it most, and empowered me to trust my body and my instincts. She not only supported me emotionally but also helped ensure that my voice was heard in the delivery room. Because of her, I felt confident, informed, and in control of my own birthing experience. I had the confidence I needed to stand strong.
I truly could not have done it without her. If you are looking for a birthing experience where there is compassion, knowledge, and a fierce dedication to her clients, look no further. Her unwavering support turned what could have been a stressful experience into an empowering and beautiful birth story that I will cherish forever.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ❤️
— Kayla Freeny
5.0
I could not have asked for a better Doula service during my pregnancy and postpartum period. Tory is very informative and guides her clients through the process. I am forever grateful for her support.
— Kendra Matthews
5.0
Great help so far! It was good to hear what I’m doing right and what I could improve. We had a good sleep the first night, and I’m hopeful that we will be able to establish a pattern.
— Sarah Reese
5.0
LaTory was amazing! She cared for our newborn daughter and went out of her way to come to us when we needed help the most. She is caring and knowledgeable about babies and gave us so many tips and tricks. She continues to check in on us after our care has ended and has just been a huge help and such a blessing! She Is a natural care taker and my husband and I were able to sleep peacefully knowing our child was in great hands. Could not recommend her enough!
— Jordan Kabase
5.0
Tory has been absolutely amazing and we haven’t even officially started yet! She has already given me great tips and advice and has checked in on me. You can tell she loves babies. I can’t wait to get started with her!
— Sharon Bui
5.0
LaTory came into our lives at the most vulnerable time, just 2 days after our daughter was born on 8/4/23. Months before that she went out of her way to meet us in person, get to know us and support me leading up to birth. Once we came home, she spent the first four nights guiding us every step of the way. As a first time Mom, I was overwhelmed, and sleep deprived. I struggled with breastfeeding and was so upset seeing how it affected my daughter. LaTory was not only attentive to my daughter’s needs but also to mine. She is one of the most genuine and caring people I know. Her presence will immediately put you at ease. LaTory cared for our daughter as if she were her own and we are forever grateful. She shared her opinions when asked and never pushed us to do anything we didn’t feel was right but helped us find our own rhythm. The greatest gift you can give your baby and your family would be to enlist her services and support. We stay in touch to this day and miss her
— Haley Farrar
5.0
LaTory has been an incredible asset for our family since the day we got home from the hospital with our son Lachlan. She arrived right on time as soon as we got home from the hospital and has been with us every week since. She has a calm yet upbeat and optimistic demeanor, and she always puts my mind at ease. She follows my direction for how I want him to be fed, where and when I want him to sleep, what swaddles to use, etc but she also has very helpful suggestions when I need them as his needs are growing and changing every day. Our older kids love her too, she always has such a nice energy and a smile on her face. She is reliable and punctual, and very responsible. We are so lucky to have her!
— Janet A.
5.0
K. Murphy
September 2023 till December
Tory is the absolute biggest blessing to our family. She cares for my twins so well and has seamlessly joined our family dynamic. She is a wealth of knowledge and encourages me daily. She is a natural caretaker and a baby expert. I don’t know how we would manage without her. I get restorative sleep knowing my babies are in such caring hands. My husband and I cannot recommend her enough.
— Kelsey M.
5.0
I hired LaTory a month before giving birth in a panic because my 9-month-old was still waking up frequently at night. My goal was to get my baby settled in her room and sleeping through the night before his little brother arrived. With an open-ended arrangement, LaTory achieved this in less than a week! By the second night, my baby dropped her night feeding and was sleeping through, self-soothing back to sleep by the third night. I was amazed. I highly recommend LaTory for anyone seeking baby sleep training!
— Chrissy R.
5.0
LaTory has provided exceptional care for several of our clients over the past few years She’s passionate about her work and generosity cares for families that she serves
Wisdom Design Insitute - Certified Life Coach (2019)
NCTA Twins Certification (2023)
NCTA LGBTQ+ Certification (2023)
NCTA 24/7 Certificate (2023)
Renewed First Aid CPR (2023)
Pregnancy and Infant Lost Certificate (2023)
QC Wellness Sleep Training (2022)
Infant Massaging (2026)
Surrogacy Doula (2026)
Birth Doula DONA (2020)
Madriella Birth Doula Post Partum Certificate (2024)
Education
B.S in Business (2024)
Doctorate in Metaphysics (2026)
Memberships and affiliations
Secretary of the Virginia Doula Association
A Brighter Birth Collective's Sleep Trainer
Languages
English
Specialties
Abortion Doula CareAbuseAnger ManagementAnxietyAnxiety and DepressionAromatherapyAssertivenessAttachment problemsAttention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)Baby and Toddler Sleep CoachBirth and Lactation Birth DoulaBirth SupportBirth TraumaBreastfeeding Assistance and SupportBreastfeeding SupportBuilding Healthy CommunicationCareer CounselingCaring for Special Needs ChildrenChildbirth EducationChild/family TherapyCognitive-Behavioral TherapyCognitive Processing TherapyEarly Parenting EducatorGrief and LossGrief CounselingHome BirthHypnobirthing MethodInfant CareLabor DoulaLactation ConsultationLactation Home VisitsLatch IssuesLife TransitionsLoss and Bereavement DoulaLow Milk Supply/Over SupplyMental HealthMindfulnessMood DisordersOvernight Newborn CareParentingParenting SupportPerinatal and Infant LossPerinatal Anxiety and DepressionPlacenta EncapsulationPositive ThinkingPostpartum AdjustmentPostpartum CarePostpartum DepressionPostpartum Doula CarePostpartum LifePost Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)Pregnancy LossPregnancy, Prenatal, Postpartum TherapyPremature InfantsPrenatal and Postpartum Massage TherapistPrenatal LifeSelf-ActualizationSelf-CompassionSelf-EsteemSibling PreparationSleep ConsultantSolution Focused TherapySpiritualityStress ManagementSupport during Labor, Birth, and PostpartumSupport in Pregnancy LossToddlersWell-Woman CareMassage
Frequently asked questions
How to get my newborn to sleep at night
Getting your newborn to sleep at night isn’t about one magic trick—it’s about creating predictable, sensory-safe rhythms that support your baby’s developing nervous system. Newborns sleep best when their bodies feel safe, regulated, and gently guided through the day.
By using frameworks like E.A.S.Y. scheduling and building healthy sleep associations, you’re not forcing sleep—you’re teaching the body when it’s time to eat, connect, rest, and reset. Consistent cues, mindful timing, and calm transitions help your baby gradually differentiate day from night and settle more easily into longer stretches of rest.
When rhythm, regulation, and responsiveness come together, sleep becomes a natural byproduct—not a battle.
Why Does My Baby Sleep on My Shoulder Longer
If your baby sleeps longer on your shoulder than anywhere else, it doesn’t automatically mean you’ve created a bad habit. It may be your baby’s way of asking for more regulation.
When your baby rests upright against you, their nervous system receives several layers of support at once:
• Upright positioning may feel more comfortable for breathing and digestion
• Chest-to-chest contact supports warmth and physiological stability
• Your breathing and gentle movement provide a calming rhythm
• Firm, contained contact can soften the startle response
• Your scent, voice, and heartbeat signal familiarity and safety
Together, these cues can help your baby move from a protective, alert state into a calmer rest-and-digest state.
This may explain why some babies wake quickly after being placed in a bassinet or crib but remain asleep longer while being held. Their bodies are not necessarily “fighting sleep.” They may need additional support during the transition from your regulated body to their independent sleep space.
The goal is not to hold your baby forever. It is to understand what your body is providing—warmth, pressure, rhythm, familiarity, and safety—and gradually recreate those regulatory cues through thoughtful timing, slower transfers, consistent sensory cues, and responsive support.
Longer sleep on your shoulder isn’t automatically dependency. It is communication—and when we understand the “why,” we can respond more confidently.
For safety, contact sleep should only happen while the adult holding the baby is fully awake and alert. When you are ready to sleep, place your baby on their back in a separate, firm, flat, and empty sleep space.
How do I encourage labor and trust my baby's timeline
How do I encourage labor and trust my baby’s timeline?
The urge to “get things going” near the end of pregnancy is real—especially when exhaustion sets in or outside pressure starts to creep up. What’s often overlooked is this: your baby initiates labor. The hormonal cascade that begins birth—especially the cortisol signal from baby to parent—is a biologically timed conversation between your bodies.
When that conversation is rushed or overridden too early, it can influence newborn breathing, feeding, temperature regulation, and even longer-term sleep and digestion rhythms. If your baby is full term and thriving, supporting labor doesn’t mean forcing it—it means creating conditions that allow the body to respond when the signal arrives.
Gentle ways to support the process without urgency:
Daily movement: walking, stairs, or time on a birth ball to support baby’s descent
Oxytocin activators: laughter, massage, intimacy, emotional safety
Warm baths and grounding rituals: calming the nervous system so the body can soften and open
Breathwork and visualization: syncing your body with readiness rather than pressure
Acupressure or red raspberry leaf tea: only with guidance from a trusted care ally—not because TikTok said so
Birth doesn’t begin on a schedule—it begins within the bond between baby and parent. Your body knows. Your baby knows. Trust that conversation and respond with intention, not urgency.
Consent: What if my provider is recommending something that doesn't feel right
You don’t owe your body, your baby, or your birth to anyone else’s timeline or preferences.
If a recommendation feels rushed, unclear, or misaligned, it’s okay to pause. You have the right to ask questions, to decline, or to explore alternatives. Birth is not a performance—it’s a physiological process that unfolds best when the birthing parent feels safe, respected, and informed.
Implied Consent vs. Informed Consent
Implied consent happens when agreement is assumed—because something is “routine,” because no one explained it, or because silence was taken as a yes. It often lacks conversation and transparency.
Informed consent means you’ve been given clear information about what’s being suggested, why it’s being recommended, the potential risks and benefits, what alternatives exist, and what happens if you choose to wait or decline.
You don’t consent because something is offered.
You consent when it feels safe, aligned, and fully understood.
Use Your B.R.A.I.N.
This gentle framework (often used in conscious and gentle birth education) supports real-time decision-making:
B – Benefits: What are the benefits of this option?
R – Risks: What are the risks—for me and for my baby?
A – Alternatives: What other options are available?
I – Intuition: What does my inner guidance say?
N – Nothing: What happens if we wait or do nothing right now?
Practicing B.R.A.I.N. during prenatal visits helps center your voice before labor even begins.
Two grounding questions can also reset the conversation:
Is my baby okay? Am I okay?
If both you and your baby are stable—heart rate steady, no signs of distress—you often have time. Time to ask. Time to weigh options. Time to breathe.
If a provider feels uncomfortable with your pause or your questions, that reflects their comfort level—not your obligation. Your care should feel like a partnership, not pressure.
How do you know its not the baby blues but PMAD
The baby blues are common and temporary, affecting up to 80% of new parents. They typically begin a few days after birth and ease within two weeks. During this time, you may feel weepy, irritable, overwhelmed, or emotionally raw—but you can usually still access moments of calm, connection, or joy between the waves.
PMAD stands for Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders. It’s an umbrella term that includes postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and related conditions. PMADs tend to feel deeper, last longer, and interfere with daily functioning or your ability to feel like yourself.
Watch the timeline
Baby blues: Peak around days 4–5 postpartum and resolve within about two weeks
PMAD: May begin during pregnancy or anytime within the first year postpartum and does not typically resolve without support
Notice the intensity and impact
Baby blues: Emotional ups and downs, but you still recognize yourself underneath
PMAD: Persistent sadness, anxiety, rage, numbness, or intrusive thoughts that disrupt sleep, bonding, eating, or day-to-day functioning
A helpful check-in to ask yourself:
Is this improving with time and rest—or does it feel like it’s taking over?
If symptoms feel heavy, persistent, or isolating, it’s not a personal failure—it’s a signal that support is needed. Early care makes a difference, and help can coexist with being a loving, capable parent.
Why are the rates so high?
Because this level of care is not basic childcare—it’s specialized, high-touch, professional support during one of the most critical windows of family life.
My rates reflect:
Years of experience and specialization in newborn care, postpartum support, and sleep regulation
On-call availability, overnight hours, and emotional labor that require sustained presence, alertness, and expertise
Personalized, in-home care tailored to your baby, your nervous system, and your household—not a one-size-fits-all approach
Risk, responsibility, and continuity of care during a medically and emotionally sensitive period
Ongoing education, training, and professional readiness to support feeding, sleep, recovery, and regulation safely
This work supports more than sleep—it protects parental mental health, supports infant development, and helps households stabilize during a vulnerable transition. Families aren’t just paying for hours; they’re investing in peace of mind, informed guidance, and regulated support when it matters most.
High-quality care during early postpartum isn’t an expense—it’s an investment in rest, bonding, and long-term well-being.
How much does Tory charge?
Tory's Sleep Direction Session package is $35 USD, flat rate. Tory lists 9 packages in all.
Is Tory taking new clients?
Not taking new clients right now. Availability was confirmed 1 week ago.
Does Tory accept insurance?
Tory lists Blue Cross Blue Shield (BCBS), Cigna, Medicaid, Tricare, Optima Health, Optimum HealthCare, and Optum Health as accepted insurance. Message Tory to confirm coverage for your plan.
